How I Survived A Toddler Stand-Off

Hi guys, I feel really bad for not writing. Well duh! I mean I have been writing, but I haven’t been writing any content. Like any real life stuff/thought stuff/non-blog-related stuff.

My friend and I (let’s call her Eleanor) ended up at a party (which wasn’t actually the plan, but that is a long story). It was a dinner party at a fellow writer’s house. I walked in the door, started putting polenta in my plate, because I was told it was cheesy polenta – NOT vegan polenta. That was when I realized that it was not cheesy it – it was bleu cheesy. Jeez. I warned Eleanor, and we sat and talked around a table for awhile, when a mom and two toddlers came. They were really cute little toddlers, until one started climbing all over us. The other one just sat mundanely.

Eleanor and I went outside to escape. It was all dark, and there were steep steps coming out from the house. We walked quietly down the stairs to find some peace and quiet. I was about to talk to her, when the light from the house cast a light on the two girls. We exchanged glances. At first we were going to ignore them, but then we realized that they were probably going to come down, and then at some point hurt themselves, so we went into the shadow of a tree hiding, watching them. They came down. We emerged from the shadows. They knew that we didn’t want to entertain them. They walked off the stairs and onto the walkway by the porch we were on.

The fight was on. All four of us stood there. Staring at each other. The night air was fairly warm. They were not going to give up. I knew it. We were probably going to give up sooner. It didn’t really matter to us. As long as we didn’t have to play with them. It was night time! Isn’t that when people are tired? I mean… seriously!

At long last, I broke a smile. “Why don’t you go inside, your Mommy might not like you being outside in the cold. We escorted them back upstairs. They came back with hats. Why? Neither of us were in the mood for entertaining toddlers.

Eleanor suggested that we play hide-and-go-seek. That went on for not very long. It turned into stubborn freeze tag mixed with nonsense stories.

Finally, Eleanor’s mom came and rescued us. We were saved! And we ate Chipotle, and we watched funny videos, and we got to hang out!

Eleanor’s mom told us that we had to not think of them as toddlers but as adult beings. Everybody was a toddler once. Doesn’t mean they will always be. We are all human beings. They are human beings – they just haven’t lived quite as long.

Hmm… very smart toddlers, I have to admire them.





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